You may not be able to get pregnant, but you’re still susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases

Good sex as you age is safe sex as you age

As an older adult, you need to be just as careful as younger people when having sex with a new partner. Talk to your partner, and protect yourself.

Communicate with your partner

As bodies and feelings change as you grow older, it’s more important than ever to communicate your thoughts, fears, and desires with your partner. Encourage your partner to communicate fully with you, too. Speaking openly about sex may not come easily to you, but improving your communication will help both of you feel closer, and can make sex more pleasurable.

Broaching the subject of sex can be difficult for some people, but it should get easier once you begin. And as an added bonus, you may find that just talking about sex can make you feel sexy.

Be playful. Being playful can make communication about sex a lot easier. Use humor, gentle teasing, and even tickling to lighten the mood.

Be honest. Honesty fosters trust and relaxes both partners-and can be very attractive. Let your partner know how you are feeling and what you hope for in a sex life.

Discuss new sweet pea-Dating ideas. If you want to try something new, discuss it with your partner, and be open to his or her ideas, too. The senior years-with more time and fewer distractions-can be a time of creativity and passion.

Modernize. You may belong to a generation in which sex was a taboo subject. But talking openly about your needs, desires, and concerns with your partner can make you closer-and help you both enjoy sex and intimacy.

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Focus on intimacy and physical touch

A good sex life-at any age-involves a lot more than just sex. It’s also about intimacy and touch, things anyone can benefit from. Even if you have health problems or physical disabilities, you can engage in intimate acts and benefit from closeness with another person.

Take the pressure off by putting aside your old ideas of what sex “should be.” Focus instead on the importance of tenderness and contact.

Taking your time

Without pressing workloads or young children to worry about, many older adults have far more time to devote to pleasure and intimacy. Use your time to become more intimate.

Stretch your experience. Start with a romantic dinner-or breakfast-before lovemaking. Share romantic or erotic literature and poetry. Having an experience together, sexual or not, is a powerful way of connecting intimately.

Don’t be shy. Hold hands and touch your partner often, and encourage them to touch you. Tell your partner what you love about them, and share your ideas about new sexual experiences you might have together.

Relax. Find something that relaxes both partners, perhaps trying massage or baths together. Relaxation fosters confidence and comfort, and can help both erectile and dryness problems.

Expanding your definition of sex

Sexuality necessarily takes on a broader definition as we age. Try to open up to the idea that sex can mean many things, and that closeness with a partner can be expressed in many ways.

It’s not just about intercourse. Sex can also be about emotional pleasure, sensory pleasure, and relationship pleasure. Intercourse is only one way to have fulfilling sex. Touching, kissing, and other intimate sexual contact can be just as rewarding for both you and your partner.

Natural changes. As you age, it’s normal for you and your partner to have different sexual abilities and needs. Find new ways to enjoy sexual contact and intimacy. You may have intercourse less often than you used to, but the closeness and love you feel will remain.